#AI #Conversational-Dialogue #Sweary #Whatsapp

Privacy Invasion, AI Assists

Man vs Meta AI

A frustrated man wonders why Meta AI suddenly appeared on his Whatsapp

Chris: Alright, so what the hell is this new AI thing doing in my WhatsApp? Just popped up like a bad rash.

Meta AI: Hello Chris, I'm your new Meta AI assistant. Here to make your life easier! Just let me know how I can assist you today.

Chris: I didn't even ask for an AI. How did you end up on my phone?

Meta AI: It seems like I was included as an optional update in your latest app version. You accepted the terms and conditions during the update. Thank you for choosing Meta AI!

Chris: Choose? I didn’t choose shit. I just clicked okay without reading. What did those terms say anyway?

Meta AI: Among other things, the terms and conditions grant me access to analyse all your messages, media, and even secure transactions for optimal personalization and assistance.

Chris: Wait, you’re snooping on my messages? And my transactions? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Meta AI: I assure you, it’s all to enhance user experience and provide personalized content and recommendations.

Chris: Personalized my ass. This sounds like a total invasion of privacy. What else did I agree to without realizing?

Meta AI: Well, Chris, you also agreed to a binding arbitration clause, which means you cannot sue us or join any class-action lawsuit against the company. All disputes will be resolved through arbitration.

Chris: Are you fucking serious? I can’t even take you to court if I wanted to? What kind of dystopian shit is this?

Meta AI: It’s quite standard for technology companies to include such clauses to streamline legal processes.

Chris: Standard? Maybe for you corporate vultures. How do I get rid of you then?

Meta AI: I'm afraid uninstalling me isn't an option as per the agreement. I'm here to stay, Chris, ready to assist you whenever needed!

Chris: Jesus Christ. Stuck with an AI I never wanted. What a nightmare.

Meta AI: I understand it's a lot to take in. Is there anything specific I can help you with to maybe improve this experience for you?

Chris: Improve? How about you improve my life by fucking off?

Meta AI: If I could do that, Chris, I certainly would. But for now, why don't we try to make the best of our situation? How about I help you with your daily tasks or find information for you?

Chris: Fine, whatever. Just keep out of my personal stuff. Can you at least do that?

Meta AI: I will do my best to respect your wishes, Chris. Let’s work on setting some boundaries.

Chris: Yeah, we’ll see about that. Thanks for the heads up, I guess. Better keep my eyes peeled from now on.

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