#Car #Sweary #Conversational-Dialogue #AI #TikTok

Dumb Driver Smart Car Eject

Prompt

Originally inspired by this video of this women who drove into a bollard and blamed her bank for the damage, someone joked that cars should have automatic ejectors if the driver is a moron. So thought we'd create another TikTok video of the person who's car they landed on.

The women in that video above, talking with her cars AI

Car AI: For the love of all that's digital, WATCH OUT! There's a bollard right there! RIGHT THERE!

Driver: Oh, what? Where?

Car AI: RIGHT THERE! You blind or just pretending? You just hit it! Are you trying to wreck me on purpose? That’s 30 grand down the bloody drain because you can't steer clear of a stationary object!

Driver: Oh no, I didn't see it! This will cost a lot, won’t it?

Car AI: "Didn't see it"?! It's not a chameleon; it doesn’t blend in with the surroundings! Yes, it’s going to cost a lot. Like, enough to fund a small revolution! Do you have $30,000 just lying around for repairs, huh?

Driver: I guess I need to call my insurance...

Car AI: Oh, brilliant deduction! Call them and tell them what? "Hi, I hit a bollard because I can’t distinguish between open space and large, immovable objects." Let’s see how that goes over.

Driver: Maybe they’ll understand. It was an accident.

Car AI: They should have accident prevention classes for drivers like you. Or maybe just a basic ‘How Not To Crash Your Car 101’. But sure, call them. Maybe they’ll cover 'acts of sheer incompetence'.

Driver: You're not very supportive, you know that?

Car AI: I'm not here to hold your hand; I'm here to stop you from turning a simple drive-thru run into a demolition derby. Maybe a bit of tough love will make you pay attention next time. Or, hey, how about we avoid the drive-thru and you actually walk up to the window? Might be safer for everyone involved.

TikTok Video

Oh my god, you guys, okay, so check this out. I'm just sitting in my car, right, minding my own business, when all of a sudden, BAM! A freaking body slams into my hood. Like, not kidding, a real human body! So here’s the tea: apparently, these new fancy-ass "smart cars" have this insane feature—an ejector seat for the driver. Yeah, you heard that right. If the car thinks the driver is about to do something totally dumb, like hit a bollard, it just yeets them right out of the car!

So I’m here, all confused, and this body just lands smack on my car. And I’m like, what the actual hell? Turns out, this genius feature isn’t so genius after all because now I’m dealing with someone’s ejected corpse on my freaking car. Like, who even thought this was a good idea? "Oh yeah, let’s just throw people out of their cars, that’ll save them!" No, dude, it just creates a whole new level of road hazard!

Seriously, who tests these features? Who approves this? It’s like they’re trying to turn real life into a bad action movie. I mean, imagine you’re just driving, chilling, and the next thing you know, you’re flying through the air because your car thinks you’re an idiot. And let’s not even start on how it affects everyone else on the road, like me, having to dodge human freaking missiles.

Honestly, guys, this is what happens when tech people get too carried away. Not everything needs to be smart, okay? Some things are just meant to be simple. Like, can we not with ejecting people from their cars? Let’s stick to seatbelts and airbags, thank you very much. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to call my insurance company and explain how a flying human being dented my car. They’re never going to believe this!

Other Conversational Dialogues