Mum's Pot Plants != Mum's Pot Plants

Mixed Up

How long can two cousins have a conversation until they realise they're not on the same page.

Scene: Two cousins, Jamie and Alex, meet at a family barbecue. They’re sitting at a picnic table away from the rest of the family. Jamie is a bit of a stoner and Alex is really into gardening. They haven’t seen each other in ages and are trying to catch up.

Jamie: (grinning) So, mate, I heard through the grapevine that your mum’s got some impressive pot plants going on at her place?

Alex: (enthusiastically) Oh, yeah! They’re thriving. She’s really got a green thumb. Got this new fertilizer that’s just magic.

Jamie: (raising eyebrows) Magic, huh? Sounds pretty intense. She must be dealing with some high-grade shit.

Alex: Absolutely! You should see her geraniums; they’ve never been redder. And her herbs, man, the basil is just out of this world!

Jamie: (nodding, trying to keep up) Right, right, the basil... gets you into another world, huh? That’s wild. And here I thought she was just into the... usual greens.

Alex: (laughing) Oh, she diversifies. You should see the variety. But honestly, it’s the traditional stuff that she excels at. Peonies, violets, you name it.

Jamie: (confused but going with it) Yeah, gotta respect the classics. But, uh, does she ever get heat for her... hobby?

Alex: (misunderstanding) Oh, definitely, the summer sun can be brutal. But she’s got a whole system set up to keep them cool, lots of shade and hydration.

Jamie: (chuckles) Hydration, right, important to keep it all flowing smoothly. So, no trouble with the cops then?

Alex: (puzzled) Why would the police bother about pot plants? Unless you mean those new regulations on water usage...?

Jamie: (laughing nervously) Yeah, water regulations, right! Damn, gotta keep it all legal. So, she’s got it all under control, huh? Keeping it all... low key?

Alex: As low key as you can with begonias blowing up on Instagram. I swear, half the followers are there just for her flowering tips.

Jamie: (realizing they're not on the same page) Wait, you’re telling me those pot plants are literally potted plants?

Alex: (staring blankly) What else would they be?

Jamie: (laughs heartily) Oh man, here I was thinking we were talking about weed!

Alex: (bursting into laughter) Weed? Nah, Mum would never! Though, you should see her real business. Makes growing weed look like child’s play.

Jamie: (intrigued) Oh? What’s she into then?

Alex: (grinning slyly) Meth, mate. Mum’s been cooking meth. And she’s bloody good at it too.

Jamie: (laughing) Shit, that’s hardcore. And here I was impressed by imaginary weed plants!

Alex: (shaking his head) I tell ya, family reunions are never dull with our lot!

End Scene

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