The Wolf of Wall Street
Positive 👍
OK The Wolf of Wall Street, huh? Fine. Strap in, because this film isn’t just a movie—it’s a three-hour adrenaline shot of cocaine, corruption, and complete capitalist insanity. Martin Scorsese didn’t just direct this masterpiece; he unleashed it upon the world like a financial apocalypse wrapped in a $3,000 suit. If you somehow haven’t seen it, I pity your empty, joyless existence.
1. Direction – Scorsese’s Middle Finger to Morality
Scorsese has been making films about power-hungry, morally bankrupt scumbags for decades (Goodfellas, Casino, The Departed), and The Wolf of Wall Street is him at the absolute peak of his game. This isn't some half-assed biopic about some mild-mannered investor. No, this is a full-throttle, no-holds-barred dive into greed, excess, and financial crime, told with such insane energy that you’ll need a cigarette afterward.
He directs this film like he’s on the same drugs as the characters—every scene is fast, loud, and pulsing with an intoxicating sense of reckless abandon. There’s no moralizing, no forced message about the "evils of Wall Street." Scorsese knows his audience is smart enough to see the madness for what it is, and instead of spoon-feeding you some after-school lesson, he just lets the chaos unfold. That’s brilliant filmmaking.
2. Leonardo DiCaprio – A Performance for the Ages
If you thought DiCaprio was just some pretty-boy actor, this film should’ve slapped that notion straight out of your skull. His portrayal of Jordan Belfort is a goddamn tour de force—a relentless, over-the-top, psychotic ride into the mind of a man who treats life like one big, unhinged party.
He rants, he raves, he screams, he snorts mountains of coke off naked women, and he makes you love every second of it. His speech about selling a pen? Iconic. His Quaalude overdose, where he flops around like a fish out of water trying to get into his car? Comedic genius. The fact that the Academy gave the Oscar to Matthew McConaughey that year for Dallas Buyers Club is one of the biggest crimes in cinematic history—right up there with Shawshank Redemption losing Best Picture.
3. Jonah Hill – A Perfect, Unhinged Sidekick
Jonah Hill plays Donnie Azoff, the creepy, drug-addicted, cousin-marrying sidekick to Belfort, and holy shit, does he nail it. From his ridiculous fake teeth to his absolute lack of a moral compass, every scene he’s in is pure gold. The guy’s chemistry with DiCaprio is off the charts. Whether they’re screaming at each other, tripping on Quaaludes, or talking about masturbating at work (yes, really), Hill brings an energy that makes the film even more unhinged.
4. Script & Dialogue – A Profanity-Laced Masterpiece
This script is a goddamn work of art. Terence Winter (The Sopranos, Boardwalk Empire) wrote one of the most wildly entertaining, quotable, and fast-paced screenplays in modern history. The dialogue is like verbal cocaine—it just keeps hitting, scene after scene, without a single dull moment. And let’s talk about the swearing. The Wolf of Wall Street holds the record for the most uses of the word “fuck” in a non-documentary film—569 times. If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about its commitment to absolute insanity, I don’t know what does.
5. The Film’s Genius – A Satire That Tricks You
The biggest stroke of genius here? The film never tells you how to feel about Belfort. Is he a villain? A hero? A cautionary tale? A rockstar? The movie leaves that up to you. Some idiots think the film "glorifies" Belfort’s actions, but those people are too dense to realize that the entire movie is a mirror held up to our society. The fact that audiences cheered for Belfort while watching proves the point—we are all so seduced by power, wealth, and confidence that we willingly buy into the fantasy, even when we know it’s built on fraud.
And that’s why the ending is fucking perfect. Belfort, after years of stealing, lying, and ruining lives, doesn’t get some huge cinematic comeuppance—no, he gets a cushy life as a motivational speaker, still manipulating idiots to buy into his bullshit. Because that’s reality. That’s America. That’s capitalism.
Final Verdict – A Modern Classic
This film is a goddamn masterpiece. It’s a hilarious, brutal, intoxicating ride through the world of financial crime that never slows down for even a second. It’s one of the best films of the 21st century, hands down. If you haven’t seen it yet, what the fuck are you waiting for?
Final Score: 10/10 – A perfect film about absolute degeneracy.
Negative 👎
Alright, let’s get this straight—The Wolf of Wall Street is a flashy, loud, cocaine-fuelled three-hour rollercoaster that tricks dumbasses into thinking it’s one of the greatest films of all time. But is it? Hell no. It’s a self-indulgent, bloated spectacle that mistakes excess for depth and style for substance. Let’s break this shit down properly.
1. It’s Just Three Hours of Douchebags Being Douchebags
I get it. People love watching rich assholes do rich asshole things—snorting mountains of coke, wrecking Ferraris, throwing midgets at targets like some degenerate carnival game. But here’s the thing: that’s all the film is. A bunch of morally bankrupt dickheads indulging in their worst impulses for nearly three hours with zero consequences until, oh no, Jordan Belfort gets a slap on the wrist and serves a laughable prison sentence in a glorified country club.
And don’t give me that bullshit about how it’s a “satire.” If it is, it’s a piss-poor one because the majority of viewers walk away idolizing Belfort rather than condemning him. If a film is meant to critique greed but instead inspires finance bros to quote it like the fucking Bible, then congratulations—you’ve failed at satire.
2. Leonardo DiCaprio’s Performance is Just Yelling
Yeah, yeah, I know. DiCaprio is one of the greatest actors of his generation. But let’s be real—his performance here is just three straight hours of screaming, frothing at the mouth, and making over-the-top speeches like a goddamn televangelist on cocaine. Oh, wait—he literally is on cocaine half the time. It’s entertaining for a while, but after the tenth monologue about how money is everything and the fiftieth time he throws shit around like an angry toddler, it just gets exhausting.
3. Margot Robbie is Completely Wasted
Let’s take a moment to talk about Margot Robbie. She’s a phenomenal actress, and this was the role that made her a star. But what does she actually do in the movie? Show up, look stunning, have some steamy scenes, and then be reduced to the one-dimensional “hot, pissed-off wife” trope. Naomi Lapaglia could’ve been an actual character with depth, but instead, she’s just there to be eye candy and scream at Belfort occasionally before storming off.
4. There’s No Real Character Development
Belfort starts off as a greedy piece of shit, spends the entire movie being a greedy piece of shit, and ends the movie as… you guessed it, a greedy piece of shit. At no point does he learn anything, reflect on his actions, or even pretend to change. The movie doesn’t even attempt to explore why he is the way he is. It just glorifies his scumbag lifestyle under the guise of a “cautionary tale” that never actually cautions anyone.
5. It’s Way Too Long for What It Is
This movie is three goddamn hours. And for what? To watch the same cycle of debauchery, crime, and shouting repeat itself over and over? It’s the cinematic equivalent of binge-watching five identical episodes of Entourage in a row—fun at first, then tedious as hell. Scorsese could’ve easily chopped off 45 minutes and made the same point, but no, we needed every single coke-snorting, yacht-wrecking, hooker-filled moment shoved down our throats.
6. The Ending is a Letdown
After all that build up, after all the crime, corruption, and excess, what’s the grand conclusion? Belfort gets arrested, spends a little time in a cushy prison, and then comes out to make millions off of telling people how to get rich. The final scene, where he’s giving a seminar to wannabe hustlers, is meant to be ironic, but let’s be real—most people watching it don’t see irony, they see aspiration. It’s the cinematic equivalent of saying, “Crime totally pays, just don’t get caught too hard.”
Final Verdict
The Wolf of Wall Street is an overlong, morally confused, glorification of excess that pretends to be a cautionary tale but is actually just an expensive hype reel for Wall Street scumbags. It’s entertaining in parts, sure, but it’s also repetitive, shallow, and way too in love with its subject matter. Scorsese has made some of the greatest films of all time, but this isn’t one of them—it’s just a well-shot, overacted, R-rated TED Talk for Greedy Assholes.