Neglected Cake's Bitter Tale

Alright, listen up, you need to get this straight. I'm a fucking piece of cake, right? Yeah, you heard that. A goddamn, delicious, mouth-watering piece of cake. But do I get eaten? No. I just sit here on this plate, getting stale, while these idiot humans just walk past me, drooling but never indulging. What a miserable existence, but let's dive into this ridiculous story of neglect.

So there I am, freshly sliced, cream frosting looking like a damn cloud from heaven, and I'm thinking, "Today's the day, some lucky bastard's gonna taste paradise." But no. The first human, this clueless guy, just glances at me and then at his fucking phone. Like, hello? Real life delicious cake over here, not some digital bullshit!

Then comes this woman, right? She actually stops, and I'm thinking, "Finally!" But what does she do? She fucking sighs about her diet and walks away. Are you kidding me? I'm a once-in-a-lifetime treat, not some calorie-counting nightmare!

Hours pass. I'm not as fresh anymore, but still a damn tasty piece of cake. Another human, this one looks like he hasn't had a good meal in ages, he's eyeing me. But does he reach out? No, the moron shakes his head and mutters something about sugar. Sugar! That's the fucking point, you dimwit!

Night falls. I'm not just stale; I'm a metaphor for missed opportunities. Here comes another human, probably the last chance for me to fulfill my destiny. And this one... this one just cleans the counter around me and leaves. Doesn't even give me a second glance. I mean, what the hell?

So here I am, a stale, unwanted piece of cake, telling you my tragic tale. Life as a cake is short, sweet, and apparently, utterly disappointing. Humans, huh? Can't live with 'em, can't get eaten by 'em.