Tax Romance Story

Once upon a tax year, Corporation Tax and Capital Gains Tax crossed paths in the dark alleys of the fiscal world.

Corporation Tax was a brooding figure, lurking on the balance sheets of companies, slyly eyeing their profits like a hawk hunting for prey. Cold, ruthless, and relentless, Corp was there for one purpose only—to bite off a chunk of every company’s hard-earned earnings and stuff it straight into the government’s greedy coffers.

Then, enter Capital Gains Tax—shiny, flashy, with an aura of seduction that only applies to the wealth-hoarding crowd. Cap Gains was always there to sweep in when some smug investment finally paid off, demanding a share of the gain like a prenuptial agreement no one knew they’d signed. A cruel mistress, only interested in the "wealthy elite" and their precious assets, Cap Gains was both loved and hated in equal measure.

One fateful day, these two tax terrors found themselves called to the same balance sheet, assessing the year-end filings of a particularly lucrative corporation. They locked eyes over the line items—profit margins, investments, dividends, the whole sordid mess. There was something electric in the air. Corporation Tax felt a jolt as Capital Gains Tax lingered a bit too long on the line for "Investment Income."

Cap Gains smirked. "Well, well, well… Isn’t it funny how companies think they’re the only ones with a claim on their own profits?"

Corporation Tax raised an eyebrow. "Oh, sweetheart, don’t be coy. You know damn well I’m here to strip every last cent I can."

“Oh, I know. I’ve seen you in action. Just like every other cold, calculating tax type out there,” Capital Gains teased, tapping the “Asset Appreciation” column suggestively.

And in that moment, they both knew—these two weren’t just numbers on a spreadsheet. They were kindred spirits, locked in a shared mission to scrape away the fruits of economic success, and they were both damn good at it.

Over the following quarters, they danced on every ledger, whispering sweet nothings like ‘depreciation schedules’ and ‘revenue thresholds.’ Corporation Tax watched with dark satisfaction as Capital Gains swept up her share of asset value growth, adding layers of withholding like seductive little deductions that only they understood. They'd found bliss in their shared ruthlessness, carving up wealth like some sadistic power couple on the prowl.

And so, Corporation Tax and Capital Gains Tax carried on, waltzing through fiscal reports and balance sheets together, forever entwined in a tax code romance as they fed the government’s insatiable appetite for every last penny.

So, there you have it—the toxic love story of Corporation Tax and Capital Gains Tax: the unholy union fuelling the government’s endless demands, ‘til the fiscal year do they part.